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Xerus

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Recent Movie Reviews

29 Movie Reviews

Everything is alive with pleasure

Dis funny. I like the part with the ayuss. Then the part where the robocop gun blew up was also pretty amazing. I think that it could've used a touch more of pseudo-western propaganda sketch style influence though.

Recipe is a Fraud

Hello Mr. Egoraptor.

I'm writing you because I tried your recipe for "PENIS!" and I didnt get the same results as you did in your flash movie "Awesome Compilation Number Six." I started with the same process of taking about 5 dozen eggs and putting them in a bowl. I then took a spoon and mixed the fuck out of them, and then I placed the bowl out in front of me and shouted "And what do you get?!" at the top of my lungs, expecting a giant phallus to be summoned forth, but I waited and waited and nothing happened.

All I ended up with was this big bowl of mushy eggs with the fuck mixed out of them, so they were rather useless. I'm just writing to inform you that if you put something like this in your cartoon, you should test to see if it works first because it does not. Or maybe you need to make your instructions a little more specific. What kind of bowl should I have used? Should it be blue or some other color, and should it conform to a specific shape for it to work?

I was very embarrassed in front of my coworkers when I held out the bowl and nothing came out. Someone suggested that I shove the bowl up my ass, but I dont think I saw that in your flash instructional video, so I dont know why that would help.

Anyway, I thought I'd just let you know. I look forward to your next instructional video, and maybe you could address this issue next time. I look foward to having skyscraping penises fly out of my tupperware at alarming speeds. I plan on winning my church's next bake sale with your "PENIS!" recipe, so I look forward to your response.

Thank you.

Egoraptor responds:

Dear Mr. Xerus,

Hello! Thank you for participating in my instructional flash tutorial video animation. Your review is very important to me, and I will answer it promptly in this reply.

The process you have just explained is correct save for one detail! It may be the reason my recipe did fail for you. As you can see in the video, the chef robot character man named "EggBeater Man" mixes eggs while talking. While it is a simple and clever thing to do, there is one reason he is doing it. Look when he says "put!!!" You see, he spits a little. This magical spit is the key to making PENIS! out of 5 dozen eggs with the fuck mixed out of them. Next time you purchase 5 dozen eggs and mix the fuck out of the, then maybe you'll know! I promise you will get PENIS! next time.

If you do not make penis you might try an omelet? I hear they are scrumptious!

Yours,
Egoraptor

This is DUMB

And by DUMB, I mean AWESOME.

PSP. I have a family to feed.

Recent Game Reviews

4 Game Reviews

Well I like it just fine, good sir.

Really interesting mechanics, a lot of fun! :)

Eh..

A shoot em up that doesnt let me move past the halfway point on the screen, small enemies that take more than 1 hit to destroy, and overall sluggish gameplay? It doesn't really work for me.

Interesting

This is a cool concept for a game, but thats all it is right now. It has the potential of being an awesome flash game if you put the effort in! ;D

NICFLIC responds:

Thanks, Version 2 coming soon

Recent Art Reviews

1 Art Review

Splended

You are a comicompo MVP, dawg.

Laufman responds:

I do what I can:D

Once upon a time I submitted an animation to newgrounds -- then I got into making games!

Kyle Pulver @Xerus

Age 37, Male

Video Game Developer

Clarkson University

Seattle, WA

Joined on 5/28/01

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